Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Frustrations and Doubt and Faith OH MY!

I am SO frustrated today! It seems everything with Keliah's adoption is moving in slow motion. First there was the 3 month wait for Matt's medicals to be released. We were supposed to have our dossier in China by now, February 4th to be exact. Our agency had to ask for an extension.

I was certain once we sent off for our I-800A application things would pick up. In fact, we were able to get our fingerprints done 2 weeks before our actual scheduled appointment. We were fingerprinted on March 7th, and they have received and accepted our fingerprints, but we still don't have approval nor have we been assigned an officer yet.

The really frustrating part is being told that it is taking about 90 days from the time your application was received which would technically put us at around May before we get our approval. Every. Single. Day. I call, and every, single, day, I am told the exact same thing. It's there, but is still waiting in que.

So, you can imagine my anger, frustration, and utter disappointment when I hear of other adoptive families who were fingerprinted AFTER us getting their approvals BEFORE us and even sending their dossiers to China this week. And of course when I tell immigration this, they don't know how that is even possible since everything is done in order of when the applications were received. They assure me that it just isn't possible an the other families must be mistaken. Really? Because I am sure there is no way to be mistaken when you get the final document you need to send your dossier to China. The final document that is keeping you from being able to breath a sigh of relief knowing that you are one step, one huge, ginormous step closer to your child.

If all would have went as planned, we would be waiting on our LOA right now, or may have even had it by now. When we started this process last fall, our goal was to be DTC by January with hopes of traveling in summer. Now, with all the set backs and delays, we will be lucky to go early fall. Do you see why I am so frustrated?

There are days when I feel like kicking and screaming. There are days when I feel like crying. And yes, there are days when I can't help but question this whole darn process. I can't help but wonder if we are indeed on the right path. It's hard not to question when I think of all the roadblocks we have encountered, the hurdles we have jumped, and the brick walls we have run into head on. These have to be tests. Tests of our faith. Tests of our commitment. I sure hope we are passing, because I really don't think I could handle failing Him.

Adopting from China is something I dreamed of doing someday. I had visions of a daughter with eyes the shapes of almonds that disappeared when she smiled. She would have silky, black hair as dark as the night. The first pictures I ever saw of Mylee caught me off guard. Staring back at me from my computer was the almond eyes I dreamed about. I knew instantly she was our daughter. How could she not be, she was the little girl in my dream. On our flight home, I knew in my head our family was complete, but my heart was already telling me something else.

Fast forward to now and we are approaching our 1 year anniversary of bringing Drew and Jaxon home. Never in a million years did I think we would have 6 kids, let alone 7. And adding an older child to our family was NEVER in the picture, until we saw Jaxon's picture. Something in his eyes spoke to me and told me everything would be okay. So we really stepped out in faith on his adoption, and honestly, I wouldn't change anything about it.

I knew we weren't done with them. I felt it deep within my bones we had another daughter waiting for us, and I knew when I saw Keliah's pictures that she was our daughter. I remember sitting with a friend watching videos of Keliah dancing tearing up and telling her "this is our daughter, she is meant for our family." This was before I even approached Matt about the possibility.

I don't feel like I can talk to many people about my frustrations and fears. The only ones who truly get it are those who have or are walking in our shoes. Most of our friends and family think we are crazy. That's okay though, because we know we are. They don't understand why we would put ourselves through this again and again. The roller coaster of emotions. The financial stress it puts on us and our kids. The everyday life of having 6 kids. I don't know how to really answer them other than it is so worth it. The feeling of being handed your child (Mylee) you have dreamed of for years erases all the stress and emotions. The feeling of seeing your son (Drew) run to you saying "mama" as he wraps his arms around you for the first time erases the feelings of doubt. The feelings of seeing your son (Jaxon) petrified of leaving the only life and family he has ever known is worth the unknowns.

Through all of the emotions, the stresses, and the uncertainties, there is one thing that has remained constant. Our faith.

It was our faith that turned our dream into a reality when we brought Mylee home.

It was our faith that led us back to China for a son who is the most loving little boy.
Yager 2--3225

It was our faith that opened our eyes to the possibilities of adopting an older child, one that has blossomed before our eyes.

It is our faith that will see us through in bringing Keliah home. It is He who will be there with us riding the roller coasters, jumping over the hurdles, and knocking down the walls. It is He who will be there when we are united with our daughter.
january update 2

So, with everything going on I am asking you to please send up a few prayers for us. He will know exactly what you are praying for. He will hear your prayers as He has heard them before.

I am So excited to launch our next fundraiser. I should have it up and running by the end of the week.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Auctions for Keliah

I know I haven't posted much lately, but I can assure you it has been for a good cause. I am working on some more fundraising ideas and have been completely consumed with getting everything together so I can share about it here, with all of you. I am really hoping you all love it.

For now, I just wanted to let everyone know I have several auctions listed on Ebay that will be ending soon and apply the money from those auctions to adoption expenses. You can see the auctions here. There are some really cute outfits on there in sizes ranging from 12 months up to size 10 girls. I have listed the boys things too and they range from sizes 3-7. Everything listed is perfect for spring and summer especially now that spring is in the air (well maybe, we are supposed to get snow again at the end of the week)/

My goal is to start the new fundraiser next week, but for now, here is a sneak peak...


Oh, I also wanted to let you know that my dear friend Melissa met her beautiful daughter Cora today in Nanning China. Hop on over to their blog and check out their beautiful newest family member.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

And They're Off

I am so excited that my friend Melissa is boarding a plane today to finally go to China to meet her new daughter. Melissa and I met a few months after we brought Mylee home at our agency's picnic. She and her husband were starting the paperwork to adopt from China, but couldn't actually submit their dossier until they both turned 30 in January (7 months later). And wouldn't ya know it that God had a few twists and turns in their process. While compiling their dossier paperwork, Melissa found out that she was pregnant which meant they would have to put their adoption on hold.

Even though they had to put their adoption on hold, Melissa continued to come to our mom's nights and playgroups (there is about 6 groups of parents right here in our town that have adopted from the same orphanage) and was taking it all in. I think of all of us, she is by far the most prepared for their adoption. We were completely honest with her at mom's night, we shared the good and the bad. We told her what to expect and what not to expect.

In March of 2010 their beautiful baby girl, Olivia was born and as soon as she turned one (because there needs to be at least a year in between the youngest kids in the home), they began the process to finally bring home their daughter from China. They were logged in in September and got their referral in October. They could not have been more excited!

Today (actually about this very minute), they are boarding a plane to complete the dream they started almost 3 years ago. I am so blessed to be able to share this journey with them, and even more blessed to call her my friend. I am SO excited for them and cannot wait to see Melissa with Cora in her arms.

You can follow their journey here if interested.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

"Children Of God" - Official Music Video

Grab a tissue, this is a powerful video!

Friday, March 4, 2011


Matt, Gabe, Mylee, Drew and I all drove to Indianapolis Wednesday (2 hours from our house) to get our fingerprints. Our office does walk-ins on Wednesdays so in an effort to make up for some lost time, we decided to go ahead and do a walking even if it meant sitting in the office all day waiting our turn. With the kids in tow and plenty of snacks, games, and books, off we went.

Surprising, we were in and out of the office in less than 10 minutes. Actually we didn't even make it in to the office because the security guard would not let us. Apparently our receipt letter was NOT what we needed to do a walk-in. We needed our actual appointment letter in order to do a fingerprint walk-in. Frustrated does not even begin to describe how I felt at that moment. Luckily there was a lady that offered to check to see if we had an appointment in the system and said that if we did, she could go ahead and do our prints. We stood there (outside the office) for about 5 minutes before she came back to let us know that there wasn't anything showing we had an appointment yet. So, she said that once we did get our appointment letter, no matter when the appointment was, we could do a walk-in any day of the week.

So, we left, got in the car and I called the number on our receipt letter to see if there was anything anyone could do. After 15 minutes or so on hold, I finally was able to talk to a super nice lady who really did try everything she could especially when she realized we had driven 2 hours, with three kids, and were sitting in the parking lot. Unfortunately, there was nothing she could do other than tell us that we were in Que for an officer and once an office was assigned to our case, an appointment would be made. So,we gave up, and drove home.

I just kept telling myself that no matter how frustrated I was, there was nothing I could do about it. I remember thinking to myself that this is another example of giving up control and just letting everything fall where it may.

This morning I called the Hague office and again spoke to a very nice man who informed me our appointment letter was mailed yesterday and our appointment is scheduled for March 29th. So, it should be here next week and hopefully, Matt and I are able to arrange our schedules so we can go back down next week.