Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Love Has No Color

For those of you who are keeping track, we are on day 92 of waiting for our LOA. I honestly did not think we would have to wait this long. Yes, I am sulking, I want more than anything to be with Drew when he turns 4 and the only way that is going to be possible is for us to get our LOA soon, very, very soon.

I have been away from bloggy world for what seems like an eternity. In fact, this is the first I have actually sat down at the computer since before Christmas and it actually felt kind of good. The only downfall, I had over 200 e-mails to reply to, trash, or completely ignore. But other than that, I have really enjoyed the break.

I fully intended on doing a post all about our Christmas, complete with pictures and all, but as I was checking in on some other bloggers this morning, I came across this video and it completely overwhelmed me. First off, I had no idea this was even on or I would have made sure I watched it. And second it was a reminder of how many children are out there that did not have a family to spend Christmas with this year.

We always go to the Children's Mass at our Church on Christmas Eve and because it is such a popular Mass, we have to get there quite early to get a seat. Mass didn't start until 4:00 p.m. but Emma and I were there at 2:45 to save our seats. Matt came later with the rest of the crew. What does this have to do with the video below? Well, as I sat there listening to the music being played and watching families trickle in I began to tear up because I started thinking about all the children around the world who are homeless, parent less, loveless, etc. The children who instead of anticipating the arrival of Santa, they are wondering where their next meal is going to come from, how they are going to stay warm, or whether they are going to have a family next year for Christmas. It truly breaks my heart to know that there are so many children without the love, comfort, and safety of a family.

In all honesty, I was pretty much content after Emma was born. I was completely satisfied with my boy and so excited that I had a daughter. But Matt always said he wanted a large family (5 or 6), I on the other hand did not. A couple of years after Emma was born I agreed to have just one more baby. Gabe's pregnancy was a little different than Blake and Emma's and at one point I had to be hooked up to a heart monitor and was told I could not travel anywhere alone because of episodes of passing out. Anyway, as soon as Gabe was born I knew without a doubt I was done and our family was complete. Obviously God had a different plan and along came Mylee and now Drew. Five kids. We are soon going to be the parents of FIVE kids! I honestly can say that never in a million years did I think I would have five kids. But I will, and I cannot wait.

I have had several friends and family members ask "Are you crazy? How in the world are you going to stay sane with five kids, working, and going to school?" My response? "I don't know. But I do know that this is what I am supposed to do. As for school and work? I am lucky enough to be able to work and go to school from home for now." Another question we get ALL the time is "Isn't adopting expensive, how much is it, or how can you afford it?" My response? "Yes, it is expensive, the cost doesn't matter, and as far as being able to afford it, we have an enormous amount of faith." I have even in some cases responded with "it isn't any more expensive than that nice new car you are driving."

But I think the question that bothers me the most is "Why? Why do you want to adopt when you can obviously have children of your own? Why do you want to adopt from China? Why do you want to adopt outside your race?"

It wasn't until we were smack dab in the middle of Mylee's adoption that I really knew and understood what having faith meant. And it is that faith that got us through Mylee's adoption and is now getting us through Drew's. So, for those who ask why, my answer is simple. Why not? It's not like I just woke up one day and thought to myself "maybe I will adopt today." I wish it were that easy, but it's not. In fact, I tried to talk myself out of Drew's adoption so many times. Mylee and Drew were not born from me, I know that, our other kids know that, and Mylee knows that I went to China to get her. She also knows (and Drew will too) that she has been growing inside my heart for a very long time. I knew along time ago that I wanted to adopt a little girl from China. All it took for me to do it was a little bit of faith and patience and an amazing husband who allowed me to turn my dream into a reality. The love I have for Mylee and Drew is no different from the love I have for Blake, Emma, or Gabe. They are ALL my children. They may have not have all been born to me, but they certainly came from the same place, and were hand picked for me to call them my children.

One other question we get alot is "Why special needs?" This one is a little more difficult to answer. I remember being pregnant with Blake, Emma, and Gabe and the only thing that I really cared about was whether or not they were healthy. I even remember with Blake the doctor saying "it's a boy, complete with ten toes and ten fingers." Now I think back and sort of chuckle because we are actively searching for children with special needs. Whether it is a child that at has a minor or major medical issue, at the end of the day, it is still a child who needs a home, a family and someone to take them in their arms hug them and say "I love you." Whatever the medical issue is, it should not and does not define that child.

And for those of you who ask "How many more children are you going to adopt?" That is a question I simply cannot answer. I wish I could, but the only one who can answer that is God, and trust me he hasn't answered me yet either.

So please take a few minutes a watch this video. I also wanted to mention that the real family from the movie "The Blind Side" is going to be on 20/20 tonight at nine. This is what it is all about. Obviously not every adopted child is going to be a NFL player or famous country singer, but the one thing they will all have in common is a family to call their own.


Tara Anderson said...

Beautiful thoughts...

It's so touching to see grown adoptees with their parents. I can't even begin to wrap my mind around the day when I will be sending off the child that I am now waiting for into the world as a beautiful grown woman. We can only begin to grasp the plans God has for us.

Tara said...

Love it, Mandi!


amy said...

That was an awsome video Mandi!! I am so sorry for you to have had to wait SO long for your LOA. We made it to day 91 and I was going crazy!! It will come!!! We are praying for you!!


TanyaLea said...

Okay...first off, that video: All I can say is "wow!" I have tears just pouring down my face right now. Thank you for sharing... that one touched the depths of my soul.

And I just want you to know that we are still lifting you up in prayer. The wait is SO hard, I know. I never dreamed that we wouldn't have Khloe home in time for her 2nd birthday, but unfortunately, the early delays before we were DTC just happened that way. But we are still trusting in God's perfect timing, knowing that He has ordained a special place in time for us to meet our daughter face to face and finally bring her home. My heart does ache for you, though... and I trust that you will be getting that call any day now, as I know you and Molly had the same LID. Hang in there, dear friend, and KNOW that God's plan is unfolding at this very minute, and He WILL see you through! <><

love you,

Mei Mei s and Mayhem said...

What a great post! I love that video! I pray that LOA comes very soon soon and your little guy can get home to his forever family!!!