57 and Giving Thanks

As of today we have waited 57 days for our LOA (Letter of Acceptance). No, we still don't have it and quite honestly, I really doubt we will have it before Christmas. We were told that the LOA takes anywhere from 60-90 days. I have seen them come in as early as 45 and sometimes take as long as 120 days. Obviously we are hoping and praying we are not among those that his the 100 day mark. Drew turns 4 on March 11 and I want more than anything to be with him for his birthday.

Adoption may not have the same physical characteristics as being pregnant, but I can assure you that emotionally it is just as difficult and sometimes even harder. Since Mylee was our first adoption we didn't know what to expect. When we were waiting for Mylee I thought of her every minute of every day. I would worry about whether she was cold, hungry, crying, hurting, etc. I was an emotional wreck. I spent hours upon hours surfing the Internet for anything to do with adoptions, blogs, as well as anything to do with bonding and attachment. From the day we saw Mylee's referral picture to the day I held her in my arms was just a little over nine months. During those nine months there were many changes taking place. Fall came and the began changing colors. Winter was here before we knew it along with the endless amounts of snow that quickly became snowmen and racetracks for sledding. Spring brought a whole new list of changes from blooming flowers to our long awaited travel plans. The one thing that remained the same was the love, determination, and commitment to get Mylee home.

So, as I sit here on our 57th day of waiting for the official word from China I can't help but have all those same emotions going on inside me. Knowing Drew is at New Day and is being well taken care of doesn't make it any easier not having him here with us as we enter the holiday season. I know he is surrounded by people who love him and are providing everything he needs, and for that I am forever grateful.

This will be Drew's last Thanksgiving, last Christmas, last New Year without a family. Knowing that next year there will be one more little boy bouncing down the stairs on Christmas morning brings a smile to my face. When I think about the happiness, the joy, the excitement, and the laughter Drew will provide to our family, I can't help but think about the loneliness and the emptiness his foster family is going to be feeling. As we long to have Drew in our arms, they must be dreading the day that we arrive to take him away. I can't imagine parenting a child for over a year knowing at some point he or she will move on to another family. I can't imagine saying goodbye to a child I have grown to love and that calls me "momma."

So as Thanksgiving approaches us not only am I have so much to be thankful for. I have a wonderful husband who works so hard for his family and is helping a dream of mine become a reality. I have 4 almost 5 wonderful, smart, healthy, beautiful children who I love more than life itself. I have friends who are there to laugh with me and sometimes cry with me. I am thankful that Drew is at New Day and goes home everyday from school to a family that loves him and cares for him knowing that it is soon going to end. And I am thankful that I believe in a God that loves me unconditionally. A God that has enough faith in trust in us that He chose yet another child for us to parent and love. A God that despite obstacle after obstacle is walking this path with us. Adoption is a miracle, an act of God, and this year I am so thankful that He is in my life.