Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Bravery

I don't know any other way to describe the events of Tuesday. We went to the Civil Affairs Office in Nanjing to finalize Jaxon's adoption. Not only was he nervous, but so were Matt and I. Actually I was fine until we actually got to the office. Our guide Micheal did an excellent job of making sure Jaxon knew exactly what was going on and exactly what he would need to do.

When we arrived Jaxon's nanny and other orphanage officials were already there so he immediately when to sit by them. They were teasing him about his new clothes and about being able to go to Inner Mongolia. Once it was our turn we all (Matt, Jaxon, and me) had to sit in front of one of the officials and were asked some questions. Not only did they ask us if we wanted to adopt Jaxon, but he also had a say in it. So, the whole time he was being asked questions my heart was beating. He could have said no, but lucky for us he said "yes!"

Once we were finished with the paperwork and the adoption was final, the orphanage director, and Jaxon's nanny came over to say goodbye to him and get a couple of pictures. That's when I lost it. I was so overcome with emotion at the thought of him leaving everything and everyone he has ever known. I just could not help thinking about how difficult this has to be on him. He has lived in the orphanage for over 8 years. My heart breaks for him. He looked over and saw me crying and Matt had our guide translate to him that I was upset because I was sad that he was leaving his friends and the only family he has ever known. That's when he broke down. He doubled over and began to cry. The word bravery is all I could think about. I don't think I have ever seen so much bravery in one person before. He is a child, plain and simple, and he is doing something I cannot even begin to imagine.



Jaxon signing the okay for his adoption.


Jaxon with the orphanage Director (male), his nanny (shorter lady), and orphanage administrator.


The ride back to the hotel was a very somber one. There were alot of emotions in that tiny little car. Blake was even crying a little. Once we got back to the hotel our guide took us to dinner which helped to lighten the mood. I cannot say this enough, I am SO glad we brought Blake along. There is no way we could have done this without him. He has been a rock for Jaxon. Jaxon is very comfortable around Blake and is not afraid to ask questions nor is Blake. Wherever Blake goes, Jaxon is right behind him.

Jaxon is becoming more and more relaxed around us. He is smiling more and more which is good. He truly seems like a good kid and very smart. We were having lunch the other day and were trying to figure out what the Capitol of Canada was and none of us could figure it out. Our guide asked Jaxon and sure enough, he knew it. He seems eaget to lean English and is not afraid to ask Blake what something is. He is also very tidy which is something Blake could learn from him. All in all, things are going well.

Typical teenage boy in every way.

14 comments:

connie said...

Mandi, you've brought me to tears. I was so emotional on adoption day in Nanjing as well, and it's kind of scary knowing the child can say 'no.' I think it's a good think that Jaxon broke down! I'm so glad your guide was sensitive enough to understand why you were crying and explain it to Jaxon. If you ever want to skype to the boys can talk, we're here! God is so very good!!!

Lori said...

I totally agree with Connie. It's so good that Jaxon got those emotions out right up front. You're off to a great start, Mandi! He is such a good looking young man!

WilxFamily said...

The mama in me just wants to squeeze Jaxon. Unlike the little ones, he knows exactly what is happening and processing all the emotions that go with it. Yes, your guide is so good to have explained your emotions to Jaxon. What a sensitive young man. He will flourish in your family.

Wow! Is he ever handsome too! I think your gonna have to get him a big stick to keep the girls away. :0)

Tami said...

Oh Mandi, I'm emotional just reading this post. Wow..I can't even imagine doing what Jaxon did...Jaxon is beyond brave in my book...if there is such a thing. This is just so amazing. God surely has His hand all over this journey. I'm so glad Blake was able to go...what a wonderful experience for him, and having him be such a positive component and comfort for Jaxon is such a blessing.

You all remain in our prayers.

Hugs,
Tam

Tara Anderson said...

What an incredible young man you have there! I don't think there's any need to tell you that the tears are flowing over here!!! I'll be lifting him up in prayer as he adjusts to his "new" life...but I will do so with the confidence that God CHOSE this life for him before the foundation of the world. Absolutely incredible...

nikimac said...

I'm at work crying. My son is also from Nanjing ....all my emotions from 2 years ago just flooded back.
All our children are brave....Jaxon is a very special young man.

Bless you and your family!

Amanda said...

well, i'm happy to see i'm not the only one crying while reading this. i'm so inspired by both you & your husband - you're giving this young man an opportunity when no one else would. the older children are all too often forgotten. kudos to you & all the best!

amy said...

Mandi,
You have me crying here! Sweet brave boy! I am so happy for you and cant wait too meet both the boys when you get home!

Lisa said...

Thank you so much for your honesty in posting the emotions of the day. I had never thought of what this day must be like for an older child being adopted. Brave is truly the perfect world. May God continue to bless you and guide you as you parent this very brave "boy."

living4him5 said...

I could not get through this without tears and I read it twice and cried twice. He is a strong, brave young man to take this step into the unknown. WOW! What a blessing for him and for your family.

I can't wait to see how he does when he gets home. =)

Praying for you all!

Amy <><

Sandy said...

Loved the reality of this post. So glad that Jaxon is a brave young man and that he is able to share this side of himself. I don't know if I could have been brave enough to do something like that....It is truly a God thing.
Love the pictures you posted.

TanyaLea said...

oh wow. I have to pause just to catch my breath right now. I think my heart stopped for a moment as I read this post...I know I was holding my breath through much of it. I cannot stop the tears.

BRAVERY ...that exactly what it is. You are so blessed, as is Jaxon. I'm so glad for your tenderness with him, and that seeing your tears and compassion, allowed him to really show what was bottled up inside. It had to have been hard to see your son cry. Yet it really is a good thing that he felt free to let it out in front of you in that moment... that very vulnerable moment. Yes, "brave" is almost an understatement. I'm so glad that Blake is there, too. I know it will help this transition to be a bit easier for Jaxon, and Drew, too. But my heart aches the deepest for him for some reason. Maybe it's his age. Yet I also rejoice in knowing that he now has "hope for a future" and a family to always come home to. To celebrate holidays with. And when he's all grown and married, to bring his own babies 'home' to visit their grandparents. Family is a wonderful thing, and I know he is going to thrive and realize just how very loved he is in yours!

Congratulations and God bless you all! God.IS.Good!!! <><

Hugs,
Tanya

diane and leo said...

Wow! I'm so happy for you all. What precious boys you have added to your family. What an amazing journey!

Wife of the Pres. said...

Well I needed a good cry today!!!

I agree: bless his heart but so good for him to see you cry and understand WHY you were crying, to know you were sad for all of his loss … and for him to know it was OK and RIGHT and healing for him to release the grief too.

Your boys are both just precious. I am loving being able to follow along. thank you for sharing. I'll be emailing you for ADVICE when our time finally comes to travel for our guys. {{{HUGS}}}