Monday, September 20, 2010

From the Grouchy Old Man

It’s Monday the 20th and the Grouchy old man is sitting at home with the young kids while ‘Red’ makes her trip to Indi for more doctors and follow-ups wit Mylee. I sit here watching Andrew play, sing, dance, destroy a Lego creation, roll himself up in a carpet that Mandi would be having kittens about, get into a pillow fight with an imaginary opponent, and … well … be a happy, wonderful little boy I have been allowed to call my own. While watching this entertainment that no amount of money could ever pay for (… and I mean it… this kid is hilarious!!!) I seem to have come to a revelation that maybe needs to be pointed out to every foot dragging male (because lets face it boys…. We drag our feet most of the time) out there. If we are meant to be fathers, we should be fathers.

You see… I am the typical, ‘… wait … I know that look … What is on that computer … (oh no!!!!) … what are you looking at … AWE CRAP … AGAIN?’ kind of guy… I use every excuse in the book…

‘We can’t afford it’
‘We don’t have the room’
‘We will have to take things away from some of the other kids to bring another one here”
‘Wait… aren’t we just moving the kid from one orphanage to another?’
‘I tell you what … we can sell the house… move in the country and buy a chicken farm… put rooms in the barn and … (Just kidding…)’

Being an introvert most of the time, I tend to be quiet, chew on the thought for a while, pray on it a lot and heavily, and wait for a clear thought.

As I was praying about the ‘just one more … until the next one more … ‘ argument my wife was throwing at me to see if it would stick… I heard a conversation on the radio.

(Sorry, after the proofread there seemed to be a lot of ADD things that popped up in here… bear with me) For those that don’t know… there are some really cool apps for iphones that allow you to listen to radio/talk shows on your phone…

But this Radio program was about large family’s. It was a Program written for Catholic audiences that discussed the benefits and hardships of a large family. The gist of the program was the recurring thought: ‘have as large a family as God will give you. You make sure you do it while being responsible. Being responsible parents, being responsible Christians, being responsible for your kids, to your kids and above all ... to God.’ Being responsible… (little devil on the left shoulder rubs his hands in anticipation) ya… That’s my way out……

The more I thought about it… the more it hit me in the chest…. It’s my job to be responsible… So if im not being responsible… im not doing what im supposed to do….


Well “the now what” goes like this:

I am a father, a husband, and supposed to be the faith leader in our home… (I fail more then succeed at this… but through forgiveness and persistence I hope to do better) … As all three of these, if we are called by God to have another child biologically or otherwise, I cannot be the one to say no. I cannot be the one to say, ‘sorry god… not this time… I have my own plans.’

(ADD point) a good country song: ‘If you wanna hear God laugh, just tell him your plans.”

If we are called to bring more children to this family, it falls to me to be responsible, to provide, to work for and with every available ounce of muscle (of heart and of strength) to make sure I, and our family is ready.

Too me… being responsible is always being ready. We as fathers need to make sure that we are ready to fallow our Heavenly Fathers guidance. We need to follow his will. Even if it hurts my own plans.

Being Ready:

Being ready means, Religiously – in the face of god, are you ready for what is being handed to you? Financially, Relationships, Family Structure, Communication, Your Standing before God? Be prepared. It’s your job, DAD.

Religiously – not gonna tell you about that. That is personal, It is based on principle, and is not a thing within my paygrade. If you need help in this area … talk to God. (Really … Talk to him … he corners the market on Faith, Hope and all that stuff)

Financially – get the books in gear. Keep them in gear. Dave Ramsey is my hero!!

Relationships – are you and your family structurally ready? Are you communicating enough? Are you honest about the things and places and deeds? Even if it hurts.

Family Structure – are you placing the REAL prioritied in the correct place? Are you putting computer games and late night poker sessions above your family and it’s functionality? What is highest in deeds, your family or yourself or God?

Communication – (ADD story time) When I was in the Army there was this acronym (in know big surprise, the Army has acronym’s) for leadership. At that time it was the 4 factors of leadership. They were the Leader, the Lead, The Situation, and Communication. You had to have all four to be able to lead and above all … yup … COMMUNICATION. Communication is the key. Communication is also applicable to yourself and implies honesty. When communicating in this fashion we as the DAD’s have to be honest to ourselves, even if it hurts, before we can require honesty to and from others. This, in my view is the hardest thing I have ever done. I mean really… have you ever lied to yourself to keep the anxiety down? Have you ever just said… “ignore it… it will take care of itself” when that little voice say’s “you idiot … you know the mark that is gonna leave when that problem comes to the surface?” Communication .. at least in my not-so-humble opinion… is probably the biggest and first step for us DAD’s to move forward. (I could write a book on that word alone……..)

So, Mandi… when you read this… you will either get mad cause the Grouchy Old Man kijacked your Puter, or you will be happy. Don’t know…. Will have to see where the cards lay out.

Regardless, to all of the blogging buddies of my wife… you all are messengers and Angels sent by God to influence to Cold Hearts of us Grouchy Old Men. Thank you. And keep up the good work.

Matt Yager
THE Grouchy Old Man (Just ask Red... She'll tell ya)


Kel said...

Loved it! I bet she will too! Does this mean you're considering more adoptions? Haha! Just winding up the Grouch!

Tara Anderson said...

This post is definitely in the running for Best Blog Post...EVER!!! I love seeing God at work like this, and it is especially cool to hear it from the husband's point of view! Mandi, I'd hang on to this one if I were you! :)

Tara said...

awesome! great job, matt! your kids are so blessed.

WilxFamily said...

so cool that you post this! Most men are more than happy to 'make the appointment' and strive in other ways to not have anymore children. It's so sad.
Recently with the latest edition to our family coming in January, we have decided to let God have control over the # of children we have (adopt or bio). It's the only way to go...and kuddos to you for swimming upstream. You are one man changing the direction, and I hope it changes the whole flow in your circle of influence! Awesome!

The Ferrill's said...

I love this! Thank you for giving us a great Dad's perspective...
Your children are so blessed!
(we love Dave Ramsey too, and your post is motivating me to get back on the wagon. Four adoptions in four years and our own complacency made us fall off that wagon...time to get it together! ;)
Praise God for dads like you!

The Babets said...

I will be leaving this one up so Hubby can read it!! Thanks! I love to watch God move!!

amy said...

Nice writing Matt!
very very cool :-) I cant wait to show it to Tim. He would so totally agree, but never in a million years have any clue how to hijack my blog :-)


Anonymous said...

Matt, thank you so much for this blog entry. It was extremely timely for our family. All the best to Mandi and you,

Carmen from Hong Kong

Jenna said... many men do I know that I can forward this to?? :) AWESOME post!

So, my question is....who is the "next one"?

Tracy said...

That was Wonderful! I just asked my husband today if he would be willing to share his story! I hope he does. I think more husbands need to step up and share.

Julie said...

Well written! Beautiful!!!!

The Gang's Momma! said...


Thanks for the truly "upside down Kingdom" perspective. Not common or popular in most comfy American churches. But a message that many, many, many families are desperate to hear and be supported in as they act upon it. Ours included. LOVE it.

L.O.V.E. It.

connie said...

Wow, Matt, I can't believe I missed this post! It's awesome, just like your family. Thank you for sharing 'da dad's perspective!