Before I get started, I should probably explain my Wordless Wednesday post. Yes, that was my foot, no I did not break my foot (although that may be less painful, and more fixable). For two years now I have been dealing with Plantar Fasciitis which has now turned into a bone spur. It is extremely painful and has really limited my walking. I will admit I am not one that likes to go to the doctor, so I did put it off for awhile. Once I finally went, we started the treatment with shots of cortizone in my heel. This was so not fun, and quite painful and in the end did not work. Our next step was to have custom orthotics put in my tennis shoes that were to be worn all the time (I actually can't walk far without my shoes on because the pain is awful). These worked for about 6 months, but again, I put off going to the doctor until about March. This time, I was given a night splint that is made to keep me food in a straight, stretched position while I sleep. We did this for over a month, and again, this didn't help. So, after talking with a few other women that have had or have this foot problem, I decided I was just going to bite the bullett and have the surgery. I went in to see the doctor two weeks ago fully intending to walk out with a surgical appt. Instead, I walked out with this lovely new "shoe." Supposedly, this will keep me from having surgery. I wear this all day long except when I am driving, and the night splint to sleep in. I go back at the end of the month and if my foot is not better, then we are just going to schedule the surgery. I have been wearing the boot now for 2 weeks and I can't really see any progress. I keep hoping it will get better, but I am just not feeling it yet. So, I will keep you posted on my foot issue. If anyone has ever had this, I would love to hear how you treated it.30 days ago, I was on cloud nine.
Now for the real reason for my post.
Now for the real reason for my post.
After 7 very long months, our dossier was ready to leave for China. When we started this process back in September, our goal was to beDTC in January, February at the latest. But throughout those 7 months, we encountered roadblocks that needed pushed through, hurdles that needed knocked over, and a few mountains that needed climbing. We met each setback with frustration, but determined to get through it.
30 days ago, time stood still with one single phone call
May 3rd. That was the day that changed everything. I got a call from our agency and I could tell right away something wasn't right. I went outside to the front porch to see what was up. I was fully expecting for it to have something to do with our paperwork. Never in a million years could I have been prepared for what was being told to me. Honestly, I don't think anyone could have been prepared. As I was being told the accusations that had been made, my head was spinning and the voice at the other end was starting to sound like the teacher on Charlie Brown.
30 Day ago we were betrayed.
Someone had "anonymously" called our agency earlier that day and had made some pretty strong accusations in regards to us adopting another child. This person made several accusations about us, our family, and our finances in an effort to sabotage our adoption process. Some of the accusations that were made were completely ridiculous, some exaggerated truths, and some were just complete lies. Some of the accusations that were being made were that we couldn't afford another child, we have a diabetic son (Blake) who we don't monitor,Mylee's ortho issues are too much for us to handle and therefore causing us to "neglect" our other kids. Jaxon is unhappy and causing problems. Our house is dirty and we never fix anything. Oh, and our plate is just too full. These are only a few of the accusations, there are more, many more.
As the list was of accusations was growing, it became quite apparent to me who the anonymous person was. There was no doubt in my mind who was doing this and way. This person is very controlling and because they didn't feel we should add another child into our home, they took it upon themselves to make sure that didn't happen. They have verbalized their opinion frequently, and were not happy with our decision to adoptKeliah. These accusations were not made out of concern for our family and definitely not Keliah. They were made with one malicious intent and that was to "control" the situation.
30 Days ago everything was put on hold.
Because of the accusations, everything was put on hold. We were told that until we were able to prove the accusations wrong, we could not proceed. We were already months behind our goal of being DTC by January, so you can only imagine how upsetting this was. Don't get me wrong, we completely understand and agree with our agency in needing to verify everything, but it doesn't mean we have to like it. There main concern was what is best for Keliah, which is exactly what it should be.
I am not one that likes to be told "no." In fact, if someone tells me no, I am going to everything I can to prove to them that I can do it. I am a mom, and NO ONE, I mean NO ONE is going to mess with my kids. Keliah may not physically be here, but she is just as much part of our family and loved just as much as the other kids.
30 Days ago we began to fight for our daughter.
Once we were able to calm down and fully comprehend the severity of everything, we no choice but to fight back. Luckily, our agency was not giving up on us, but instead was working with us to discredit everything that had been said. For the last 30 days we have been running around like crazy people. We have had to get reference letters from friends, family, teachers, neighbors, and doctors. We were asked to provide a recent credit report, current employment letters, and not one, not two, but three years worth of past tax information. We were asked to put into writing a dispute for each and every accusation that was made, which we did, and ended up being 11 pages long. Jaxon was asked to write a letter on his own about how he felt about living in our family. Our homestudy agency was called (they had just been here 2 weeks prior for our 1 yr post placement) and we told them they were more than welcome to come back anytime announced or not. Once our agency had everything they needed (and then some), we had to go back through immigration and wait for their take on all of this. Honestly, I think our agency knows more about our family than any other adoptive family.
30 days ago I was terrified.
I was so scared, mostly of the unknown. I was petrified that His plan was different than mine. We had no idea what was going to happen. All I knew was that from the moment I sawKeliah's picture I knew she was my daughter and I had to fight for her. I saw her pictures a few months before I even mentioned her to Matt. I knew he wasn't going to begung ho about adopting again. I kept telling myself that if she was still available in August, I would approach him about her. August came, she was still available, and by September we were submitting ourLOI.
For the last 30 days I have had this gut wrenching ache in the pit of my stomach. I am not a cryer, but I can assure you , tear, many, many tears have been shed these past few weeks. I just could not imagine having to tell the kids, especially Emma that we were not going to get Keliah. I think that was the hardest part, knowing that the worst case decision was not only going to break my heart, but theirs as well. And then I would start thinking about Keliah and what could happen to her. Would she get a second chance with a family, or would she eventually age out to a life on the streets?
7 days ago we got another call.
23 days had passed since we found out everything was on hold. 23 days of being on what seemed like an endless rollercoaster. After 23 days of ups and downs, and twists and turns, everything came to a screeching halt yet again. However, this phone call was much different than the first. This was the phone call that we had been praying for, the one that would determine our fate as well as Keliah's. After 23 days of complete stress, we were finally being told that the ride was over, and that our placing agency, homestudy agency, and immigration had decided to let us proceed with bringing Keliah home. Basically this means that we were able to discredit each and every accusation that had been made and Keliah will come home. Praise God!
We got an e-mail that we have waited a long time for. After 7 very long months, we were finally...
That's right, as I type this, our dossier is on it's way to China. We are hoping and praying for a speedy LOA and TA that will put us on a plane around September. We are beyond excited to be able to finally take a breath and relax. This has been one heck of a ride, one that was not only new to us, but to our agency as well. I cannot thank them enough for their support and understanding during this last month. I would also like to thank all of you who have kept us in your thought and prayers. I have received e-mails daily from friends, family, and fellow bloggers checking in on us. I have talked with, texted, and really leaned on a few of you, and for that, I truly thank you.
Once again it has been our faith that got us through this, and it will be our faith, that will see us through in bringing our daughter home, where she belongs.