Friday, June 3, 2011

30 Days Ago

Before I get started, I should probably explain my Wordless Wednesday post. Yes, that was my foot, no I did not break my foot (although that may be less painful, and more fixable). For two years now I have been dealing with Plantar Fasciitis which has now turned into a bone spur. It is extremely painful and has really limited my walking. I will admit I am not one that likes to go to the doctor, so I did put it off for awhile. Once I finally went, we started the treatment with shots of cortizone in my heel. This was so not fun, and quite painful and in the end did not work. Our next step was to have custom orthotics put in my tennis shoes that were to be worn all the time (I actually can't walk far without my shoes on because the pain is awful). These worked for about 6 months, but again, I put off going to the doctor until about March. This time, I was given a night splint that is made to keep me food in a straight, stretched position while I sleep. We did this for over a month, and again, this didn't help. So, after talking with a few other women that have had or have this foot problem, I decided I was just going to bite the bullett and have the surgery. I went in to see the doctor two weeks ago fully intending to walk out with a surgical appt. Instead, I walked out with this lovely new "shoe." Supposedly, this will keep me from having surgery. I wear this all day long except when I am driving, and the night splint to sleep in. I go back at the end of the month and if my foot is not better, then we are just going to schedule the surgery. I have been wearing the boot now for 2 weeks and I can't really see any progress. I keep hoping it will get better, but I am just not feeling it yet. So, I will keep you posted on my foot issue. If anyone has ever had this, I would love to hear how you treated it.

Now for the real reason for my post.

30 days ago, I was on cloud nine.

After 7 very long months, our dossier was ready to leave for China. When we started this process back in September, our goal was to beDTC in January, February at the latest. But throughout those 7 months, we encountered roadblocks that needed pushed through, hurdles that needed knocked over, and a few mountains that needed climbing. We met each setback with frustration, but determined to get through it.


30 days ago, time stood still with one single phone call

May 3rd. That was the day that changed everything. I got a call from our agency and I could tell right away something wasn't right. I went outside to the front porch to see what was up. I was fully expecting for it to have something to do with our paperwork. Never in a million years could I have been prepared for what was being told to me. Honestly, I don't think anyone could have been prepared. As I was being told the accusations that had been made, my head was spinning and the voice at the other end was starting to sound like the teacher on Charlie Brown.

30 Day ago we were betrayed.

Someone had "anonymously" called our agency earlier that day and had made some pretty strong accusations in regards to us adopting another child. This person made several accusations about us, our family, and our finances in an effort to sabotage our adoption process. Some of the accusations that were made were completely ridiculous, some exaggerated truths, and some were just complete lies. Some of the accusations that were being made were that we couldn't afford another child, we have a diabetic son (Blake) who we don't monitor,Mylee's ortho issues are too much for us to handle and therefore causing us to "neglect" our other kids. Jaxon is unhappy and causing problems. Our house is dirty and we never fix anything. Oh, and our plate is just too full. These are only a few of the accusations, there are more, many more.
As the list was of accusations was growing, it became quite apparent to me who the anonymous person was. There was no doubt in my mind who was doing this and way. This person is very controlling and because they didn't feel we should add another child into our home, they took it upon themselves to make sure that didn't happen. They have verbalized their opinion frequently, and were not happy with our decision to adoptKeliah. These accusations were not made out of concern for our family and definitely not Keliah. They were made with one malicious intent and that was to "control" the situation.

30 Days ago everything was put on hold.

Because of the accusations, everything was put on hold. We were told that until we were able to prove the accusations wrong, we could not proceed. We were already months behind our goal of being DTC by January, so you can only imagine how upsetting this was. Don't get me wrong, we completely understand and agree with our agency in needing to verify everything, but it doesn't mean we have to like it. There main concern was what is best for Keliah, which is exactly what it should be.

I am not one that likes to be told "no." In fact, if someone tells me no, I am going to everything I can to prove to them that I can do it. I am a mom, and NO ONE, I mean NO ONE is going to mess with my kids. Keliah may not physically be here, but she is just as much part of our family and loved just as much as the other kids.

30 Days ago we began to fight for our daughter.

Once we were able to calm down and fully comprehend the severity of everything, we no choice but to fight back. Luckily, our agency was not giving up on us, but instead was working with us to discredit everything that had been said. For the last 30 days we have been running around like crazy people. We have had to get reference letters from friends, family, teachers, neighbors, and doctors. We were asked to provide a recent credit report, current employment letters, and not one, not two, but three years worth of past tax information. We were asked to put into writing a dispute for each and every accusation that was made, which we did, and ended up being 11 pages long. Jaxon was asked to write a letter on his own about how he felt about living in our family. Our homestudy agency was called (they had just been here 2 weeks prior for our 1 yr post placement) and we told them they were more than welcome to come back anytime announced or not. Once our agency had everything they needed (and then some), we had to go back through immigration and wait for their take on all of this. Honestly, I think our agency knows more about our family than any other adoptive family.

30 days ago I was terrified.

I was so scared, mostly of the unknown. I was petrified that His plan was different than mine. We had no idea what was going to happen. All I knew was that from the moment I sawKeliah's picture I knew she was my daughter and I had to fight for her. I saw her pictures a few months before I even mentioned her to Matt. I knew he wasn't going to begung ho about adopting again. I kept telling myself that if she was still available in August, I would approach him about her. August came, she was still available, and by September we were submitting ourLOI.

For the last 30 days I have had this gut wrenching ache in the pit of my stomach. I am not a cryer, but I can assure you , tear, many, many tears have been shed these past few weeks. I just could not imagine having to tell the kids, especially Emma that we were not going to get Keliah. I think that was the hardest part, knowing that the worst case decision was not only going to break my heart, but theirs as well. And then I would start thinking about Keliah and what could happen to her. Would she get a second chance with a family, or would she eventually age out to a life on the streets?


7 days ago we got another call.

23 days had passed since we found out everything was on hold. 23 days of being on what seemed like an endless rollercoaster. After 23 days of ups and downs, and twists and turns, everything came to a screeching halt yet again. However, this phone call was much different than the first. This was the phone call that we had been praying for, the one that would determine our fate as well as Keliah's. After 23 days of complete stress, we were finally being told that the ride was over, and that our placing agency, homestudy agency, and immigration had decided to let us proceed with bringing Keliah home. Basically this means that we were able to discredit each and every accusation that had been made and Keliah will come home. Praise God!

Yesterday

We got an e-mail that we have waited a long time for. After 7 very long months, we were finally...

dtc

That's right, as I type this, our dossier is on it's way to China. We are hoping and praying for a speedy LOA and TA that will put us on a plane around September. We are beyond excited to be able to finally take a breath and relax. This has been one heck of a ride, one that was not only new to us, but to our agency as well. I cannot thank them enough for their support and understanding during this last month. I would also like to thank all of you who have kept us in your thought and prayers. I have received e-mails daily from friends, family, and fellow bloggers checking in on us. I have talked with, texted, and really leaned on a few of you, and for that, I truly thank you.

Once again it has been our faith that got us through this, and it will be our faith, that will see us through in bringing our daughter home, where she belongs.

january update 2

29 comments:

The Ferrill's said...

praise God praise God praise God! Oh Mandi! Such wonderful news! And DTC too!
Thank you Jesus!
Love you!

TanyaLea said...

Oh Mandi ~ I'm so glad to hear that everything has worked out and that 'divine favor' we've all been praying for your family, has come to pass. Aren't you glad to know that HIS PLAN was the same as your plan all along!?! The enemy lurked in and tried to throw you off course, but God was not about to let that happen! Praising God for His unfailing love and faithfulness! Praying you can travel to your beautiful Keliah by September as you hope! God is able and ohhhh-SOOOOOO good!!! <><

Yeah DTC... come on LOA!!! :)

Big Hugs,
~Tanya

Mandie said...

Praise God for the wonderful news! His plans always work. Thank you for keeping us posted. I can't wait to see the next group of letters!!!! Blessings

Anna said...

I met Drew a couple years ago when he was at New Day. I've been following your family since then and have been waiting prayerfully for this post.

I'm not sure how much your plans have changed, but I remember you mentioning Jaxon traveling with you. I live really close to where he comes from. If you have a free moment while you're here I'd love to take you out to coffee or a meal.

Right now, I'll just celebrate with you and communicate again later.

Julie said...

Congratulations on being able to put all of that behind you!!!!

Tara Anderson said...

Oh Mandi...I am SO thankful that this is behind you. Satan's a crafty one, but God is BIGGER!!! Congratulations on being DTC! I'll be praying the rest of it goes through quickly. The wait is a killer...especially when something like this slows it down.

Lori said...

OH, WHAT GREAT NEWS!!!!

I'm so happy for you guys, Mandi!!

I hope that the rest of your journey is completely down hill from here and goes SUPER FAST!!

AfterGirl said...

God bless you and your faith in Him and His vision for your family.

Kinsey said...

Praise God for your faithfulness to the call that God has given you. May He continue to bless you and your family. May he protect your family and may you continue to embody the scriptures that request us not to forget about the orphans... Thank you for inspiring me and others.Your family is in my prayers. Praise God that you listen and obey his will and allow him to be in control of your lives. Many blessings to YOU!!!

WilxFamily said...

oh my goodness, Mandi! I had been praying for these roadblocks to be moved, but had no idea, how awful they truly were. :( Praise the Lord He has removed them so that you can be DTC. I am sure this person who created all the mayhem will get their 'spanking' from the Lord. How sad to have been used as a tool of the devil. But we all know God is bigger, and He certainly showed his might!!! How awesome!

Jean said...

Yay God- Once again he is victorious!!!

I have been praying for you dear friend and so thankful for the outcome!!

Your blog name is so fitting!!

Jean said...

CONGRATULATIONS on being DTC'd!!!

Jerry and Christy said...

What a hard trial. Praise God you are now DTC. I hope that everything else goes quickly and you can get Keliah soon.
So very happy for you that Keliah WILL be coming home!
Christy

Shonni said...

Good grief, Mandi. I am so sorry for everything that ya’ll went through. I am so glad that ya’ll are DTC now!!!! We are praying that we are DTC in the next week or two!!!

living4him5 said...

GOD always wins!!!!!!

Much love,
Amy

The Babets said...

So Happy for you!!! I have been checking daily. Boy the devil is really trying hard to disrupt your adopting so God must have Great plans for your family!!! or he would not be working so hard. Prayers and blessings for a fast TA!!!!

Di said...

Congratulations!! I am glad that everything has worked out. What a horrible thing to have happened....to bringing Keliah home soon!

Josette said...

Mandi, I am dealing with Plantar Fasciitis as well, for my 2nd time. I'm wondering if I too have developed a bone spur, but haven't been to the doctor this time around. Currently a couple of things have been helpful for me: I do some stretches with a towel behind the upper part of my foot (I feel sure you could find a picture/description online) that the podiatrist recommended the 1st time I had Plantar Fasciitis. The last time I had it they wrapped my foot some way with tape that kept it positioned that way for a couple days. I never go barefoot or wear regular, flat flip flops, I take ibuprofen for a couple of days when I'm really flared up (too much standing/walking makes it worse for a couple days). Lastly, of all crazy things, I found that tennis shoes were not my most helpful shoes. I was wearing some flip flops that I think partly lead to me having this problem again and when I realized it I started wearing tennis shoes...it was better than the flops but still hurting terribly. I went on this way for weeks before I found out kind of accidently that some bobo (not the real name brand ones:) crocs felt better to my feet than the tennis shoes. It is currently 100 degrees here so I went and spent a couple of days trying on every price range of flip flop type shoe and settled on a croc brand flip flop that, while not perfect, feels better than anything else right now. They are shaped with a slight slant/foot shape that helps take the weight off the heel a bit, which is where my pain is. I was told that because they are made of a pressed foam of some kind they will get flattened out and won't last as long as some of the other flops I tried but didn't like as well. I pd $25 for them and tried on others much more expensive, willing to pay any price at this point for a comfortable shoe. My advice would be try on many shoes and see if you can find something more confortable, combined with anti inflammatory ( I can't take the stronger ones, so I take ibuprofen) and stretches. It might be worth a try. I noticed some difference pretty quickly, a day or so after changing shoes, but it's kind of cumulative. When because of circumstances I can't control, like delivering VBS flyers, I stand/walk too long, I pay for it. A couple of months ago though, I was hurting so badly when I would walk. I was thinking I was gonna have to go try the cortizone shots, but I'm hoping not now. Sorry it's so long, I couldn't think of how to say it shorter.

Jolene said...

We've been on the roller coaster of accusations before, however, ours was much more involved and I won't go into horrid details but we had to move on from the situation. It.was.heartbreaking....however, just mere months later we were blessed with the most incredible sibling group and they've been here for 2 yrs.

My prayers are with your family as you heal and move on from this painful chapter and begin a new one full of even more joy!

~Blessings to you all~

ronvic7 said...

I'm so happy for your family and Keliah that this was the answer. God has your back:)

Amy said...

I'm so sorry you had to go through all of this. But thrilled that you are now DTC!!!!
Blessings to you and your family

*Overflowing* said...

Oh my goodness...I'm in tears...Thank you Lord!!!! Oooohhhh, I am so happy for you guys!!!! I know the lose, I know the fight, I know the sheer joy....so happy for your family!!! (mycupoverfloweth2.blogspot.com our miracle girl's story)

Lynne said...

Hi Mandi - I thought I commented yesterday.....but guess I was hallucinating - again !! :) Regarding your foot problems, I wanted to offer what has worked for me. I have had chronic foot problems my entire life, very weird feet. I have gone through the entire drill as you are with walking boots, surgery, P.F., shoe inserts, shots, etc. Several years ago, after reading everything I could put my hands on - people who have chronic foot problems recommended Birkenstocks. That is the only type shoe I wear now. It took me a while to figure out what size as they are European sizes. If you have a store nearby that carries them, you could try them on to see what size you wear. I have a giant size 11 foot, which if a 42 in Birkenstocks. If you don't have a store closeby, Zappos is a fabulous website. They are free shipping, even if you return the shoes. I use them exclusively. You receive the shoes in 2-3 days, and can return at no cost. I never go barefoot, never. As much as I don't like that, it is a must. Birkenstocks are expensive, but they last forever and ever, and well worth the cost, and the health of your feet. It takes just a little bit to get used to them, and your feet might feel a bit sore at first, but as you wear them they conform to your "foot print", and fit perfectly, they are so wonderful.....and finally - my life saver. I can walk in them all day long and never think of my feet - as before, when my aching/painful feet were always foremost in my mind, and prohibited me from doing so much. If you do try a pair, just wear them at home for a week or so until you get used to them. I wear the open toe/sandal Birkenstock but they also come in closed toe. You and your family are always in my prayers - Always. xoxoxo

Cari said...

Mandi, Praising God tonight for your answered prayer. One could funnel all their anger and resentment towards this "accuser", but in the end we know this is spiritual warfare. Our God is mightier than the enemy! I heard a song tonight talking about the difficulties and trials are a season in our lives, but that there is a blessing on the way. Thankfully, we can cling to that hope!

Anonymous said...

I have been keeping your family in my thoughts and I'm so beyond thrilled for you that this has been resolved! Looking forward to following the rest of your journey!

Sandra

Paige said...

So sad for all you all have experienced this past month, just remember "what man intended for evil, God intended for good". Congrats on DTC now come om LOA:)

Aly said...

DTC!!! Yippee Jesus!!!
So happy to hear that wonderful bit of news.
SO very sorry that someone put you through such a terrible trial.
It is going to be wonderful when you get to China and to Keilah! The timing will be perfect, because it is all in His hands!
So very happy for you!
Congrats on your 1 year anniversary for Drew and Jaxon! We celebrate Adahlyn's tomorrow!

Much love,
Alycia

Anonymous said...

What a blessing that everything worked out. My heart broke as a read that someone could be so mean and cruel. It truly amazes me that others can become so involved and controlling over others. We are so happy everything is working out for you and will continue to keep you in our prayers. May God help the person who hurt you and your family.

Blessings from CT

Caroline, John and Hannah Grace :)

Anonymous said...

AMAZING!!!!! God has made a way where there seemed to be no way! Can't wait to see pics of you hugging your daughter!

YAY! Best news this week! Do you have a link so we can give towards your trip???